Reflections...

As i sit down to write just another blog , little do i realise that this might well be the last i am writing in ManIpal...Things are so fresh in memory even today..From obtaining a rank in the UGET and the discussions over joining the college to packing bags and descending on one of the most beautiful place on earth , each moment has a story of its own...

I still do remember the summer months of may and june back in 2005, when the options of joining a college kept narrowing by the day. Eventually I was left with two options : either take a drop year or make do with an obscure branch in MIT , Manipal. Well , I must admit that initially I was a bit sceptical but now that i think of it , i can proudly say that i made the right choice..

Recalling the early days here , i can say that the lonely feeling that enveloped the entire first year hostel once our parents left , turned out to be a blessing in disguise..It helped establish stronger bonding between the hostel inmates.. Be it watching movies beyond perm-time or watching nail-biting cricket matches in a fully packed T.V room , everything shall be fondly remembered..

And it would be unfair if i do not mention the first-hand experience of pouring wine and whisky and beer, all in a beer-glass and then gulping it down the throat (with considerable help from seasoned drunkards) as a sign of maturing friendship.. "DAARU" , the most sacred word in an engineering college, too, has its share in taking new friendships to a new high..

But apart from the above-mentioned events there is a much deeper reason which connects the intellectual part of me with this place.. And that is the freedom we enjoyed here..The life here is a right mix of studies, supported by widely-varying extra-curricular activities  and thoroughly enjoyed by night-long parties..

Situated on hilltop on the western ghats , the visitors come here to catch a glimpse of a stunning spectacle all through the year..Be it summer or irresistible rainy months,  the atmosphere here almost always remains charged..And yet in this high-voltage atmosphere , one can always find enough space for his/her own individual life..It is this specialty that makes manipal stand out from the rest..

                            

Well i can continue at length talking about this place but i deliberately chose to restrict myself to a few para..and it will be only fitting to conclude in the words of a former college editor-in-chief (currently at IIM-K)...."WONDERFUL AS IT WAS .. WHAT A PLACE .. MY MANIPAL"

THE VISIONARY EYE

4:00 am, Sunday.

A disastrous nightmare had awakened me in the middle of the night..In the nightmare i was experiencing the horrors of being blind..I saw myself heplessly running from pillar to post in sheer desperation to regain my vision but all in vain..Finally it was left to me to survive in this atrocious world without any eyesight..

ohhhhh!!!!!!!

I went short of breath. I looked around in my room for some water.. As i gulped down swigs of water i felt an excruciating pain in my right eye.. I joked with myself that the aftereffects of my nighmarish experience had passed on to real life..Shrugging the pain aside i went on to sleep..

5:00am, Sunday

After an hour , i woke up again.. Unable to open my eyes fully, i made a valiant effort to have a cursory look on the hanging wall clock , the sound of which has always pierced through my ears everytime i sat in concentration , planning for my future..

First , i blamed it on the the badly lit room for it was obviously impossibe not to be able to see from one eye.. i illuminated the dark room by switching my bedlamp on, but the illumination was to be sensed only partly by ONE EYE..

I woke up in horror .. I was scared to death .. somehow I  made my way to the switches to make the tubelight glow, in hope that i might see then from the other eye..

But that was not to be..

With my heart thumping like that of the hanging wall clock with the noise piercing through my ears , i looked up in the mirror for the errant eye , that was going to give me sleepless nights thereafter for many days..

A series of  Q & A followed.. i was involved in a small tussle..

Q: was the eye red?

A: No.. blood red..

Q: painful??

A: As if somene was pushing a blunt needle right through the lens in a desperate attempt to make a hole.

Q:could i see?????????

A:i wish i could say yes!!!

Yes yes ..ohh yes..I could not see from the right eye. I rubbed my eyes with my hand. I impatiently splashed water into my eye..once and twice..again ...and again.. but in vain..

I had never experienced such a thing before..a thousand pictures flashed across my eye..The thought of having to live blind was sending shivers down the spine.

Was i still dreaming?? .. No impossible..

But what is this?? Where is my eyesight?? Where is my eyesight?????

I felt like screaming.. I left no stone unturned in holding my tears back.. Some recalcitrant drops found brimming over as an easy pathway..The sudden memory of  childhood , mom & dad only assisted in the process.. 

Should i commit suicide?? no no its a crime.. But i cant live without my eyes.. no no.. But there have been so many greats who have achieved the unthinkable in spite of being blind..yes.. yes..

The imagination of will power being the strongest of all gave some solace..But the feeling was shortlived..The trauma of  sudden loss of eyesight outweighed the strongest of will... Never had i known the inherent weakness of human beings so well.. Never had i known so convincingly that lectures on will power looked good only in classes and cant be emulated in real life!!!! 

As i kept battling an unknown condition of the eye , my friend paid me a visit..Hurriedly he took me to a doctor.. Amazed at my condition, the doctor gave a confident smile and said "your vision will be restored in a week."

As far as my memory goes i cant imagine of a sentence which was more comforting..After staying for a week at the hospital i was allowed to go with a little blurred vision...The "unknown" condition of the eye was called "uveitis" of the eye , for which, the doctor said, there was no cure..Such sudden attacks of vision-loss will keep happening and i have to approach a doctor as fast as i could to prevent permanent vision loss..  

As i walked back to my room , i kept looking for the answers of some searching questions..

Why me?? Why an incurable disease?? What if i lose my vision completely when the attack resurfaces..?? 

I closed my eyes. I stood frozen..For a moment i could not hear anything, except for the piercing noise of the ticking wall clock, waiting anxiously for my return..

A smile flitted across my lips..A thought struck and left immediately, at lightening speed..A thought for which i have no words, no sentences & no grammar to communicate.. 

I opened my eyes in triumph..In spite of having a blurred eye , i could see more clearly than ever before.. I had already passed the test that god kept aside for me.. The test of will power..The same will power which i had relegated as a bookish subject was with me during my stay at the hospital without my noticing..It was the same will power which brought a smile on my face even at times of adversity..It was the same will power which transmogrified the imagination of mom & dad from being a source of tears to a source of inspiration..

Knowledge of my disease being incurable did not intimidate me then..The thought of committing suicide almost made me laugh..The imagination of being with mom & dad further strengthened my belief in god..

I consider myself lucky to have suffered an incurable attack... Now my love for the erring eye has increased manifold for surely it is         "THE VISIONARY EYE.!!!!!"

THE NAKED TRUTH...

Ever spared a thought.. Why are we  so oblivious to obvious things..??

The recent debate over SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE has once again brought to the surface the question we indians love to hate...WHY SO POOR??? ( excerpts inspired by a hollywood movie.. ahem ahem..)

Ever since its release , the movie seems to have divided the country over the question of "potrayal of reality".. Surely the movie doesnt have the honesty of SALAM BOMBAY or sincerity of "CITY OF JOY"... The movie is a bald , angry , dark & unfortunately true  depiction of  thousands of "SLUMDOGS" of  mumbai...Unlike any stereotypical bollywood masala dish, this movie never targets to touch the raw nerve of its viewers. Through the protagonist Jamal Malik, the storyteller embarks on a tumultuous journey and continues to view Jamal confronting with all the possilble horrors of life..So much so , that at one stage a common viewer asks " HOW MUCH MORE?"..

And this poignant story sparks off an unending debate over the question of  celebration of a movie that leaves the indian audience in two minds.

Surely, there is some space for celebration..

A.R Rehman has got his due finally.. he is a legend and his rising popularity in the western world through "slumdog...." is welcomed..Also the fact that Slumdog..has put indian movies on international map is indeed heartening, although many wud not have preferred the unexpected leapfrog jump in this manner..

But coming out of the debate, there is another very intersting issue which hasnt got enough attention. The issue of "slumdog.... " all set to steal the show at OSCARS!!!!

Well the movie may have won hearts , but an honest confession suggests that it has done so only in parts. The type of praise , acknowledgement , and acceptance showered on the movie, is , to put it politely, thoroughly undeserved. Such hype generated around the movie in US , UK and elsewhere only smacks of western cynicism where people continue to view india through a clouded lens. India is still in the process of transformation. Much has changed and continues to change since independence. Not to say that characters like jamal are not to be found in indian streets, but an impartial view wud suggest that human trafficking is more or less rampant in almost all the countries today..

Moreover , the direction , story, screenplay doesnt seem to be strong enough to blow someone's socks off...Oscar has had a prestigious history of being awarded to the best in business that year...In such a scenario , flooding "Slumdog...." with awards can prove to be damaging to the reputation Oscar has  established over the years..

Having said that , i cant resist the temptation of catching Rehman perform before the Los Angeles crowd. Surely , its a gr8 moment for him as it is for countless indians back home, who havent stopped praying for him ever since his name figured in the nominations list..

As i retire to bed a day befor the oscar night , i dont know what tomorrow has for "slumdog..."

All i know is that life will continue its same old course for all the "dogs" in the "slums" of mumbai and elsewhere , quite aware of the fact that the hard lives that they live is not going to fetch any Oscars , untill another Danny Boyle arrives.....